Power Within

"Thus, the enabling power of the Atonement strengthens us to do and be good and to serve beyond our own individual desire and natural capacity." - David A. Bednar

(You can read the whole article in the April 2012 Ensign).

Certainties

Ironically, even the origin of the quote, "The only two certainties in life are death and taxes", often attributed to Mark Twain, is uncertain. Some say it comes from Benjamin Franklin while others disagree, claiming different sources still. Nonetheless, the saying pretty much holds true.

We woke up to uncertain weather this morning. We've had spring-like temperatures recently, but this morning it was snowing and cold once again. 

The otherwise quiet morning was broken with news of one of life's certainties when we got the call telling us that Uncle Donald had passed away. He left this mortal life only days short of his 88th birthday, pretty much as he had lived it. Peacefully, without complaint at the hand he was dealt and mostly alone. 

He was a sweet man who adored the family he had. He never married, never had children, but visibly loved his siblings and their children and grandchildren. He served our country courageously and fought in the Battle of the Bulge in WWII. He'd had hard times and was no stranger to loneliness, but he always had a smile and we never heard him complain (except perhaps about the gravy at the nursing home in which he lived).

He didn't have much in the way of worldly things. His most prized possessions were the many photos of extended family that adorned the door and walls of his small room.

The words of the hymn, Come Ye Disconsolate (author: Thomas Moore, 1779-1852), seem appropriate.

Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish;
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts; here tell your anguish.
Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, Light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot cure.”

Here see the Bread of Life; see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God, pure from above.
Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing

Earth has no sorrow but heav’n can remove.

We love you, Uncle Donald, and we'll miss your sweet smile at our family gatherings.

Uncle Donald

March 28, 1924 - March 18, 2012

When the Shadows Fall

There's something about shadows, often associated with the departing sun, impending darkness, mystery and things to be feared. But where there are shadows, there must, by definition, also be light. So I say, let the shadows fall.

Let us shine the light on those we love that their shadows may remain in our hearts when they depart. Let us remember their kind deeds and their warm smiles. Let the shadows fall.

In memory of DF, who left this earthly realm this morning after spending his life quietly doing good and leaving his shadow on those who walked anywhere near him. May he rest in peace.

Psalms 57:1 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.

Never Say Goodbye

barely 60. a young 60. alive. strong. loving each day. making plans to follow dreams. grand dreams.

twenty-five years younger, her world revolved around him. always the two of them. never just one.

the headaches started. unceasing. then the diagnosis. brain cancer. terminal.

he was strong. optimistic. a fighter. never give up. never. 

the latest technology. the most advanced procedures. finally, peaceful resignation. living the last days as he had lived the rest. filled with gratitude. no regrets. 

for her, anger. pain. bitterness. saying goodbye was harder than she thought*... more than she could do. as she faded into the background, only denial remained.









This *Saturday Centus is in memory of a dear friend who passed away three years ago.  In his wife's struggle to say goodbye, or perhaps, more correctly, to hold onto him, many of us feel we lost her also. This timely prompt from Jenny Matlock for Saturday Centus causes me to think of another friend whose husband is nearing the end of his mortality. I hope and pray that through her faith and her understanding of a loving Heavenly Father and His plan for us, she will be able to say "see you later" with peace and calm in her heart when the time comes. I pray that she will accept the love and support and acts of kindness of family and friends who love her husband almost as much as she does.

To see the writing of other Centusians, click HERE.

On a More Serious Note...

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we use the Old and New Testament, along with two other books of scripture, The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants with the Pearl of Great Price, the four volumes comprising what is referred to as the standard works. Each year, members of the church embark on a course of study of one of the four volumes, cycling through the entire set every four years. The year that just finished covered the New Testament. This year's study will center on the Book of Mormon.

Our local church leaders have asked that we begin with a new, unmarked copy of the Book of Mormon and keep a journal of our thoughts, impressions, inspirations, questions, lessons learned, etc. as we read. (Actually, they just asked that we keep a journal - they didn't suggest what we write in it, so the specifics listed were my addition). 

I love this idea and suggest that any religious/spiritual/interested person, whether you are a Latter-day Saint or a Catholic or a Southern Baptist or a Jew or a Muslim, can benefit from doing this. Whatever scriptures you are reading, whatever books you read for inspiration, if you have a tendency to mark them as you read, underlining words that are meaningful to you or leaving notes in the margin, start with a clean fresh copy this year. My scriptures are well worn and well marked...they have become my cliff notes. Starting with a fresh set will likely cause me to read all the words, not just re-read the ones that I've already deemed as "important". And who knows what new meaning I will get from them? 

Keeping a journal is not my forté, for sure. I have kept journals in the past - words written in anger or frustration or hurt or sorrow as a catharsis, but not necessarily meant to be re-read. I've kept journals that are running streams of inconsequential daily events with no hint of how those events made me feel...more like a collection of old calendar pages. Many of these pages filled with empty thoughts sit on my bookshelf collecting dust. I was thinking I needed some motivation to make it work better this time around.

As we were discussing this idea in our Relief Society meeting yesterday (the church's women's organization which meets each Sunday along with our congregational worship and Sunday school) an idea popped into my head. What if I thought of a family member, a friend, or a loved-one with whom I wanted to share my thoughts and inspirations, with whom I wanted to share my love for the Savior, and wrote my journal as if it were a letter to that person? What if I presented my "journal" to them as a gift next Christmas or for their birthday or when I feel they need it most?

And so, a new blog is born. Not a public blog. Not a blog open for comment. Not a blog with followers.  Just a private place to record those thoughts and feelings...for now, for my eyes only. Someday, when the time is right, to be shared with that person or persons for whom it is intended. 

So, on this, the first Monday of the year, I begin a new journey in the blogoshpere...a spiritual journey. We'll see where it takes me...and with whom I travel. 

For those of you wondering, yes, of course, I'll continue to blog here too...and from time to time, maybe, just maybe, I'll let you know how the journey is going over in my private corner.

09.11 - Ten Years After

I, like millions of other Americans, remember distinctly where I was and what I was doing on the morning of 09.11.2001.

At the time, I lived in the SF Bay Area in the heart of Silicon Valley. As the events of the day unfolded, it was not too far-fetched to think that Silicon Valley could be a target for the terrorists too. This, of course, was not a very comforting thought.

The other day I heard a news commentator asking rhetorically whether we had won or lost the war on terror. As I think about how our nation has changed and our lives have been impacted since that day, I ponder the same question. I suppose that on the face of things, we have won, if one considers that there hasn't been another attack on US soil since. On the other hand, though, we have been at war in some form or fashion ever since, with countless American (and other) lives lost - far exceeding the losses of 9/11 itself. Our economy is in the toilet. We have willingly given up many of our civil liberties in the name of "fighting the enemy" and preserving our freedom. And our country, once unified by the tragedy of 9/11, now seems more divided than ever, caught up in the petty rivalries of our political system.

I spent the day yesterday on the back of a motorcycle, tooling through the wide open spaces of northern Utah, Idaho and Wyoming. It was a great experience. As we enjoyed the beauties of nature, ate lunch at a roadside diner, visited an old unkempt graveyard and visited our mountain cabin, I thought a lot about 9/11. I thought about how far removed I felt from anything at all to do with 9/11.

 

I'm not so foolish as to think that just because I now live in a sparsely populated part of the country that I am safe from the sting of terrorism. After all, terrorism wins by attacking when and where it is least expected, exposing our vulnerabilities. Terrorism wins by instilling fear in the hearts and minds of the masses, propelling reasonable people to do and say things that they would never do under ordinary circumstances, by paralyzing them. Terrorism wins by destroying trust and causing us to view the world through suspicious eyes.

I refuse to let terrorism win, whether I live in a huge metropolitan area like San Francisco or New York or in a more remote and rural area like the mountains of Utah. I choose to have faith in a loving God who knows more than I do. I choose to have faith in the goodness of mankind prevailing over the evil. I choose to remember that I live in a nation in which our freedoms are a great gift and should never be taken for granted. I choose to be alert and watchful, to take an active interest in my country and my community, and to do what I can to make it a better place to live, however small my part might be.

I'm grateful to the countless men and women who have given their lives because they also refused to let terrorism win. May we never forget what happened on 9/11, and yet, at the same time, may we always look forward with a perfect brightness of hope that peace and goodness will prevail.